August 2013

Thought #5: Do you Know What You Are?


You are a collector and a collection

You are a relationship

You are your beliefs
(ATTENTION patterns)

You are your practices

You are what you “eat”
(we “eat” with all of our senses sotospeak) (what you expose yourself to, surround yourself with–you intake and absorb like food)

You are a storyteller

You are the artist of your own reality.

The above is you fundamentally (and in fact, you could sum it all up in the first bullet point). All other details and appearances manifest (result) from the above to form what you experience, what you call your identity.

So, life-artist, what do you want to create?

What do you admire? What do you love? What is beautiful and true to you? Put your ATTENTION (focus) on that, COLLECT pieces of your dream’s picture with your ATTENTION, through practiced ATTENTION form a RELATIONSHIP to that (realize that boundaries are only appearances, and that you are actually the dance you do with everything you encounter, not a fixated, finite, separate subject (we are the invisible space between the appearances of subject and object-the more attention you practice focusing on something the more the boundaries disappear between you and that something)), EAT that (Mark Twain once said “Part of the secret of success in life is to ‘eat’ what you like and let the ‘food’ fight it out inside.”).

So for example, what do I want to become? Everything that I think is beautiful and true. The ocean, sunsets, music, slow-pace rhythm, flowy things, expansiveness, flexibility, joy, the friends and family I admire, the great thinkers I admire, the person who will be the love of my life…so i spend time putting attention on these and over time, with digestion, they become me. (and by the way, with attention also implies you chose to NOT attend, or ignore other things…i do this with negativity, fear-spores, violence, distracting, invasive advertisements…etc. just say no! We are our yeses and no’s)

Romantic love is the ultimate metaphor for this becoming I speak of. Two “collections” reciprocally admire each other’s collection and therefore want to become one another in a sense, they put a very focused attention on each other (I conceptualize love as synonymous with the phrase “a devoted focus”), and watch as the lines between Lover and Beloved are revealed to be illusions (revealing it to be RELATIONSHIP, the dance, not the dancers..the space between). Sex is a consummate expression of all of this, where the collections express their unity, through a push-dance-wrestle-resistance-reception between duality and unity, climaxing in orgasm (one of the most extreme concentrations of attention in existence) which is the ultimate unity of two into one to manifest a unified collection of both of their collections in a child (a literal physical expression of their one-ness).

Romantic love is a vivid metaphor showing us that we are actually a relationship with everything, and we become what we do. Romantic love is such a vivid metaphor because it has a power to move us to a very intense focus and very deep intimacy with something. But romantic love is a metaphor for an even bigger love, which is the unity with self and life, subject and object, internal and external.

Our attention is our power. Be aware of what you attend to; awareness gives you back your creative willpower, puts you back in the driver’s seat of your own life. Be aware of distractions. Practice “Watching” yourself “watching”; that is, practice being the witness to your own attention…where does it bounce to? What moves it and why? Be aware of big, loud, glittery, swarming, swaying voices, be it media, society, people in your life that try and take over the narrative in your life…remember you are the storyteller! Have a sanctuary in your life where you can focus and you can cleanse yourself of noise, so you can hear your artist’s voice. My place is the ocean and I try and pilgrimage to it everyday. The quiet, the water’s flow, the expanse of ocean and sky…I absorb (eat) them all and I become empowered and focused. Those things in your life that make you FOCUS, be it nature, art, friend, conversation, sleep, relaxing, massage, sex, yoga, meditation, sports, exercise, cloud-watching, sunsets, reading, writing, cooking, gardening, playing, dancing….will heal and empower you…find those and do them often. In focus there is flow, in distraction there is friction; life’s maladies come from the friction of distraction. Finally, for god sakes, “eat” positive “food” everyday for the rest of your life and break this bread with and for others.

Do you know what you are?

Thought #4: Trapped in a Mental Track

To become trapped inside of a mental track is scarier than being trapped inside of a physical space. Attention-blindness, unawake, sleepwalking in a narrowed realm, cut off from Infinity.

Thought #3: Devices and Sincerity

One can use devices in singing, sex, conversation, and relationships, but the most amazing moments, the glorious, come from simple sincere being.

Oh, the complicated dance we do on our way to being what we are, but it be a part of the story, in fact, it IS the story.

Thought #2: Life’s Tensions

Can I think of the tensions of life as the foreplay building to it’s orgasms?

Life is tension and release, tension and release…you need the shadow characters, The Antagonist of your story, to friction you to abursting freedom fire

My Beloved, I See You Again

We finally found each other after an attention blindness Dark Age